By Scott Cole
I did not sleep well last night. Turned over this morning, and had shooting pains all around my left ear. I hate when that happens. Guess it got all folded up and twisted against the pillow. Really hurts.
Found my other ear underneath the pillow. I reattached it, but it’s still pretty sore.
My back is stiff too. Not sure what I did, but my midsection looks like a wad of stretched-out bubble gum that was left in the sun to dry, then tied into a knot. If I was able to stand up, I’d probably be about nine feet tall. But of course I can’t.
My right shoulder appears to be dislocated as well -- which explains why I’m unable to reach the remote and shut off the TV. Looks like I’ve got a flight of steps running from my neck to my elbow.
It might not be as bad as my left leg, though. Must have gotten wrapped up in the sheets or something. It’s bent the wrong way -- forward, that is -- and my foot is stuck, somehow tucked underneath my scrotum. It’s unpleasant, to say the least, mainly because I haven’t clipped my toenails in a while.
And the sheets are completely soaked. There has to be at least a gallon of blood here. At least.
Can’t imagine what happened last night. I don’t remember a thing -- not even my dreams. But I do know this: I’m already late for work, and that’s a problem.
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Scott Cole is an artist, graphic designer, and writer, all at the same time. His words have appeared in places like Weirdyear, Flashes In The Dark, and MicroHorror, as well as a handful of print anthologies, while his images have been in magazines and on CD covers. He lives in Philadelphia, as well as online at www.13visions.com.
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